From the desk of Rosa Huber, CEO

Written by Rosa Huber on August 30, 2021. Posted in Compass Online, Publications

In January 2020, shortly before COVID obliterated our sense of normalcy, I received a fresh reminder of why QuietWaters Ministries exists. The Wall Street Journal had published an article about pastors who struggle with mental health and how admission of these struggles can often have negative repercussions, such as termination. It’s interesting to revisit this topic now, after so much has changed in the world. The unique challenges grappled with by pastors and other Christian leaders have not disappeared, and in fact have only been exacerbated by COVID and the other crises and conflicts of this season.

A Runner’s Heart for Pastors

Written by Quiet Waters Ministries on May 13, 2015. Posted in Compass Online, Uncategorized

Click Picture Now if you would like to visit Scott’s Donation Page. All donations are 100% tax deductible and are solely for the benefit of QuietWaters Ministries.

I could regale you with dozens of stories from the last 9 months of training for my first ever marathon. There has been humor and pain, success and failure, rain, sleet, snow, heat, and humidity. I have studied about things like VO2 max, fartlek’s, intervals, LSD (that’s long, slow, distance), metabolic efficiency (yes, I’m a geek), heart rate training zones, diet, nutrition, and so much more. I’ve shared conversations with Boston marathoners, ultra-marathoners, beginning runners, friends, supporters, naysayers, coaches, and chiropractors. I’ve spent miles running and praying and thinking and more miles running and not thinking and just, well, running. Last night, during marathon training mile 926, I had a brief conversation that really captured my heart. I was running along the Cherry Creek Trail and more focused on getting the training run finished and beating the rain than anything else. A man was running towards me. I had seen him on the trail before. Much like me, he doesn’t have a runner’s body. I like to call us sturdy! As he approached, I could see a serious look of determination on his face. His breathing was labored and sweat was dripping down his cheek. We shared only a quick wave as we passed each other. A few minutes later, I got to my turn around point and headed for home. The man that I had seen earlier had slowed his run to a walk. I came up beside him and matched his pace. He removed his headphones as I got his attention. As I have done many times before during short running conversations and encounters, I asked him what he was training for. His answer caught me off guard. Matter of factly he said,

Ministry Executive Caught Breaking the Law in Colorado

Written by Quiet Waters Ministries on August 29, 2014. Posted in Compass Online, Publications, Uncategorized

I was actually going a little bit faster than this

–87 in a 75–

Have you ever had that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? That quick shot of adrenaline when you first see that light bar blink red and blue on the highway patrol car as it pulls in behind you? I recently had the pleasure of enjoying this experience. I was on the way to pick up my daughter, son-in-law, and grandbaby from the airport. I was driving their car because it had the car seat for the baby. It was about 9:00 PM; I wasn’t even late. I was just cruising along on the toll way. As soon as he pulled out from the median, I knew he was coming after me. I looked down at my speedometer and quickly came to the realization that this was not going to be pretty. I pulled over and waited for him to saunter up to the door. Here is a brief synopsis of our conversation.

Learning to Lean

Written by Quiet Waters Ministries on July 23, 2014. Posted in Compass Online, Publications, Uncategorized

It started out as a typical Thursday morning here at the QuietWaters Ministries HQ. I began the morning looking for the devotion book that we have been using for our weekly Staff Infection (a/k/a staff meeting). The morning continued with me contracting a severe case of conviction.

We have been using a book written by a local pastor friend of mine, Jason Lohse, for our weekly study. The book is titled Expresso – Devotional Readings to Energize Your Faith.

The Cost of Servant Leadership

Written by Quiet Waters Ministries on February 21, 2014. Posted in Compass Online, Publications, Uncategorized

We find leaders in all walks of life. These include pastors, missionaries, business people, stay-at-home parents, educators, politicians, and the list goes on and on. Many will argue that leadership is a learned skill. Others will say that leaders are born. While leadership can be extremely rewarding and satisfying, few will argue with the fact that leadership can be extremely difficult at times. For many, like a soldier, or an assassinated President, or a first responder, leadership has come at the expense of their life. For many, leadership does not come at the cost of a physical life but it does, however, come at a very high emotional cost or physical cost. Are you experiencing any of these symptoms?

Depression
Anger
Moral Failure
Distance from God
Distance from your spouse or family
Addictive Behavior
Burn Out
Post-Traumatic Stress
Fatigue
Wounded Relationships
Physical Ailments
Loss (or significant reduction) of Empathy or Compassion
Low Self Image
Anxiety
Trouble Sleeping
Excessive Discouragement
Erratic Behavior
Suicidal Thoughts

These symptoms are just some of the “costs” that we might incur on our respective leadership journeys.

I had a great opportunity to travel to the Midwest this week. I sat in on a couple of seminary classes, I met with lecturers, denominational leaders, and educators, and I brought home two significant takeaways. The first one is that we are nearing the perfect storm in terms of the level of ministry anxiety. While we still have millions and millions of people to reach with the Gospel, technology is shrinking our world. As Christian leaders, we are reaching more people. Leaders are seeing people, broken people, at higher rates than ever before. Managing the stresses of ministry is necessitating adjustments in how we deal with these changes. My second takeaway is rooted in the anxiety arena. The question was asked, why is it that the “costs” seem to be higher today than they were ten or twenty years ago? A lecturer’s answer was very insightful. Today, many Christian leaders seem to operate in the yellow zone or caution zone. They are walking the ragged edge and very close to the red zone or danger zone. It may not take much to put a leader over the proverbial edge. Ten or twenty years ago the typical Christian leader might have been walking in the safe zone most of the time. If you are operating in the safe zone, it takes a lot longer and a lot more stressors to get to the danger zone.

If you are a Christian leader and having a difficult time covering the cost of servant leadership or you are operating too close to the danger zone, contact us here at QuietWaters Ministries. We can help!

The March issue of Compass Online will be titled Covering the Cost of Servant Leadership. I hope you will join me then!

Niceness Rather Than Truth

Written by Quiet Waters Ministries on August 25, 2011. Posted in Compass Online, Uncategorized

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COMPASS ONLINE

A Digital Help Toward Renewal from QuietWaters Ministries

Volume 10, Number 7

July 2010

Greetings!

In the May Compass Online I told you that we had received a record number of inquiries about our Leadership Counseling Intensive program and many have scheduled to come to participate in a LCI at our Retreat Center.

I ask for your prayers for these colleagues as well as the counselors and host couples that will be serving them.

Thank you for your prayers. They have been evident.

We continue to serve many so please continue to hold Quiet Waters Ministries and those we serve up in your prayers.

Jim

Niceness Rather Than Truth

by Jim Schlottman

Recently I read the book “Home Town Tales” by Philip Gulley. One of the stories in the book made me think of some stories I’ve heard from pastors. Maybe you can relate.

“I have a friend named Tom who pastors a church over in Ohio. Every so often we visit on the phone. He tell me his latest thoughts on church growth, Tom has a lot of ideas concerning church growth, none of which seem to take hold. This past year, he was betting on mimes to pack in the crowds.

The idea came to him during worship. “If you have mimes, they will come!” a voice whispered. So at the next meeting of elders, he talked about bringing gospel truth and revival through the ministry of miming. These elders are nice people, which is how they got to be elders. They believe in niceness, even at the expense of truth.

“Now there’s a good idea, Pastor,” they told him. “Why don’t you organize a special Sunday evening service with mimes? That’s a fine idea. We’ll look forward to that. Mimes – why didn’t we think of that?”

Tom found two mimes, set up the worship services, ran ads in the paper, brought in extra chairs, showed up early to unlock the doors, and waited for the crowds. But no one came except the mimes and Bill, the janitor. Everyone else stayed home and watched 60 minutes. They were just being nice and didn’t have the courage to tell him the truth-that a worship service with mimes was the dumbest idea they’d ever heard and they wouldn’t attend if their lives depended on it.”

One story I heard from a pastor was not so humorous, and even more harmful. During the call process, the call committee had shared with the prospective pastor the church’s desire to reach out to the community. They even shared a particular program that the church would want him launch right away. Upon accepting the call and beginning ministry at this church, the pastor immediately followed their direction and launched that mentioned community program.

It was only after he took that step that he received serious criticism from many in the church and almost lost his new position. The call committee was nice, but not truthful. That small group who gotten themselves on the committee had their own agenda that they had not been able to accomplish with the last pastor because of major opposition from most in the church.

Niceness rather than truth.

In Leviticus 19 it clearly says, “Do not lie.” My question in light of that passage is, is not telling the truth the same as lying? And in Ephesians 4:15 it says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.”

I just can’t stop without telling you more of Gulley’s story because I found it really funny. However, I have a funny sense of humor.

“As a result, Tom committed himself to telling the truth. He tells people what he thinks, whether they want to know or not. Like the lady who’s done his church’s newsletter for the past twenty years, the worst church newsletter in the kingdom of God. Tom told her he thought the newsletter needed freshening up and that she should take out the column that lists all the people who missed a Sunday. So she took it out and now she’s writing a column rating his sermons. One Bible means the sermon was bad; four Bibles means the sermon was good. According to her, Tom’s been giving a lot of one-Bible sermons lately.”

How many Bibles are your sermons?

Tom’s response also wasn’t right. So what are we to do when someone wants to use “niceness rather than truth?”

Prayer, caution and discernment are the words that come to mind.

“My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.” (Proverbs 3:21-22)

I hope you learned a little from Tom. So that next time a little voice tells you to use mimes to proclaim the gospel, you’ll know that the little voice may not be God. Take time to pray for discernment. With discernment you can then trust the correct little voice which is from God.

GENE MEERDINK MEMORIAL

Gene Meerdink, former Director of Donor Care for QuietWaters Ministries passed away this April 29, 2010.

Gene served with his wife Arlene as missionaries to Mexico and as a supervisor of missionaries for the Reformed Church in America.

Many of you may have known Gene for his work with QuietWaters or you may have known him through his work in missions.

Therefore we wanted you to know of Gene passing.

The family has said that those wishing to honor Gene may contribute in his name to QuietWaters Ministries. Gene will be recognized with the naming of the prayer chapel at the new Retreat Center.

To make an online memorial gift please CLICK HERE, fill in the Donor Information and in the Gift Designation window select the “Gene Meerdink Memorial Fund.”

Or mail your memorial gift to QuietWaters Ministries, 9185 E Kenyon Avenue, Suite 150, Denver, CO 80237.

Position Opening

Director of Donor Care (Director of Development)

This position oversees all donor programs with the primary goal of increasing major gift revenue, developing and maintaining relationships, and advancing donors’ commitments to QuietWaters Ministries.

The successful candidate will be responsible for creating and implementing QuietWaters Ministries’ strategic comprehensive campaign plan intended to raise gift income to support current operations and capital needs.

Qualifications include a minimum of three years progressively successful experience in fund raising, preferably in a Christian organization. Capital campaign experience beneficial. Successful track record in soliciting major gifts from individuals and organizations. Documented experience in establishing or maintaining programs for fund raising. Demonstrated experience in writing successful fund raising direct mail and foundation proposals.

Reports to the CEO/Executive Director

If you need additional information please call Jim Schlottman at 303-639-9066. To apply send your resume to [email protected].

The QuietWaters Compass Online is published monthly as a free service of QuietWaters Ministries, whose mission is to renew, restore, and strengthen Christian leaders and their families. Opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of QuietWaters Ministries, its personnel or trustees. Material contained in this publication is not intended as a substitute for the professional assistance you can receive from a counselor, or health care provider. Requests for permission to reprint articles should be directed to the editor at the address below.

James L. Schlottman
QuietWaters Ministries

(303) 639-9066

[email protected]

© Copyright 2010 by
QuietWaters Ministries
Bethesda Foundation, Inc.
All rights reserved.

OPT-OUT

We hope you enjoy receiving this FREE newsletter from us, but if for any reason you’d rather not receive this email newsletter from us in the future, just e-mail us at [email protected] with your request to be removed from the newsletter mailing list.

PRIVACY

Protecting your privacy is very important to us at QuietWaters Ministries of the Bethesda Foundation, Inc. We will not rent, sell, or exchange your e-mail address with a third party for any purpose.

In This Issue

Double Honor – Highest Regard

GENE MEERDINK MEMORIAL

Quick Links

QuietWaters Ministries

10th

Anniversary Year

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

Psalm 23:1-3

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Are You Ready? Compass Online

Written by Quiet Waters Ministries on January 1, 2011. Posted in Compass Online, Uncategorized

COMPASS ONLINE

A Digital Help Toward Renewal from QuietWaters Ministries

Volume 11, Number 2

January 2011

Greetings!

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. Psalms 42:1 (NIV)

As I photographed the deer enjoying the shade in the front yard of the QuietWaters Retreat this summer, I was reminded of this passage in Psalms. See the deer in the lower right corner of the picture above.

Many come to QuietWaters with their souls in need of God. And He is always ready to meet their needs.

Jim

Are You Ready?
by Jim Schlottman

2011 We have now entered a New Year and a New Decade. Are you ready?

This past year, QuietWaters experienced many exciting changes. On February 1, 2010 we opened our new QuietWaters
Retreat Center and saw a significant rise in the number of pastors and missionaries we served.

We have exciting plans for 2011, that Lord willing we will be able to implement. However, I’m not sure we are ready for the changes the New Year has in store.

Are you ready for the changes that you will experience in the New Year and the New Decade?

Are you ready for what some are predicting?

Michael Spencer in a March 2009 article in the Christian Science Monitor stated that, “We are on the verge – within 10 years – of a major collapse of evangelical Christianity. This breakdown will follow the deterioration of the mainline Protestant world and it will fundamentally alter the religious and cultural environment in the West. Millions of Evangelicals will quit. Thousands of ministries will end. Christian media will be reduced, if not eliminated.”

With 1,500 pastors leaving the ministry each month and at least 5,000 missionaries leaving the field every year, are those very frightening predictions coming true?

Spencer goes on to say, “This collapse will herald the arrival of an anti-Christian chapter of the post-Christian West. Intolerance of Christianity will rise to levels many of us have not believed possible in our lifetimes, and public policy will become hostile toward evangelical Christianity, seeing it as the opponent of the common good.”

Is Spencer’s prediction over-the-top, or is he on-the-mark?

As we read the newspapers and listen to the news commentaries on radio and television we are already hearing the hostility toward evangelical Christianity.

Whether or not his 10-year prediction of a major collapse of evangelical Christianity will come true or not, we can see the indicators to which he is responding.

My observation is that the world is becoming more hostile toward Christianity, and as it does, the pastor and missionary are most often the focus of that hostility. I see it play out as we address stress-induced burnout in the Christian leaders we serve. Burnout can be defined as the state of physical, spiritual, psychological,
emotional exhaustion that is related to chronic unrelieved pressure or stress.

Are you ready for chronic unrelieved pressure and stress? It may be coming your way if Spencer’s predictions come true.

So how do you get ready for what lies ahead in 2011?

Dave Ragsdale, QuietWaters Director of Counseling, gives four important statements that should be true if you are going to be ready.

Your spiritual, psychological, physical, and social health are the most important resources you bring to ministry. YOU are the tool!
You must practice self-care in order to be a good steward of yourself.
You need a theology of self-care in order to be assertive about this value.
An ongoing tension exists between care of self and the care of others.

Let’s start with a theology of self-care. It is best explained by seeing it demonstrated by Jesus. “At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place.” Luke 4:42a (NIV) “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16 (NIV) I’ve shared before the comment by a pastor that he wanted to look out his office window and just be with God, but he was afraid that someone would come in and think he was goofing off.

Then let’s look at Ragsdale’s five key elements of implementing self-care to be ready to face 2011:

1. You are feeding your soul
2. Giving yourself time for reflection
3. Taking time for rest and relaxation
4. Getting plenty of recreation
5. Enjoying art and beauty

I’ve mentioned these few suggestions to hopefully get you started in the right direction to get ready through self-care. It is not a magic formula. Everything about ministry is against you implementing good self-care.

Every year I make New Year’s resolutions to lose weight and get more exercise. I seldom make much progress toward those resolutions.

So, do not make implementing self-care your New Year’s resolution or you will fail. Instead, make it part of your prayer life. It is only with the Lord’s help that you can be ready for the New Year.

Good Search to Benefit QuietWaters Ministries

Please continue to use GoodSearch.com throughout 2011.

When you search the Internet using GoodSearch.com they will donate half their advertising revenue, about a penny per search, to QuietWaters when you designate QuietWaters as your selected cause. Use it just as you would any search engine, get quality search results from Yahoo, and the donations to QuietWaters add up!

And if you download the GoodSearch – QuietWaters Ministries toolbar, our cause will earn money every time you shop and search online – even if you forget to go to GoodShop or GoodSearch first! Add the QuietWaters Ministries toolbar at https://www.goodsearch.com/toolbar/quietwaters-ministries

The QuietWaters Compass Online is published monthly as a free service of QuietWaters Ministries, whose mission is to renew, restore, and strengthen Christian leaders and their families. Opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of QuietWaters Ministries, its personnel or trustees. Material contained in this publication is not intended as a substitute for the professional assistance you can receive from a counselor, or health care provider. Requests for permission to reprint articles should be directed to the editor at the address below.

James L. Schlottman
QuietWaters Ministries

(303) 639-9066

[email protected]

© Copyright 2010 by
QuietWaters Ministries
Bethesda Foundation, Inc.
All rights reserved.

OPT-OUT

We hope you enjoy receiving this FREE newsletter from us, but if for any reason you’d rather not receive this email newsletter from us in the future, just e-mail us at [email protected] with your request to be removed from the newsletter mailing list.

PRIVACY

Protecting your privacy is very important to us at QuietWaters Ministries of the Bethesda Foundation, Inc. We will not rent, sell, or exchange your e-mail address with a third party for any purpose.

In This Issue

Are You Ready?

Good Search to Benefit QuietWaters Ministries

QUICK LINKS

QuietWaters Ministries

10th

ANNIVERSARY
YEAR

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

Psalm 23:1-3

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Do you believe in UFOs?

Written by Quiet Waters Ministries on December 2, 2010. Posted in Compass Online, Uncategorized

QuietWaters Compass Online

COMPASS ONLINE

A Digital Help Toward Renewal from QuietWaters Ministries

Volume 10, Number 12

December 2010

Greetings!

All of us at QuietWaters Ministries want to wish you a very Merry and Blessed Christmas and may the Lord richly bless you in the coming New Year.

from,

Jim, Stacie, Ro, our counselors, Dave, Vicki, Tom, Christine, Werner, our board Ray, Keith, Joe, Vince, Glenn, Bhaskar, Sid, Earl, and Meindert.

Do you believe in UFOs?

by Jim Schlottman

News flash: Unidentified Flying Objects from outer space were seen landing in a field at a sheep ranch near town. The ranchers said that the UFOs were surrounded by a bright light. One rancher reported, “When I saw that thing it scared me to death. Then one of the UFO’s told us not to be afraid”.

News flash: A church leader reported seeing an Unidentified Flying Object. He was quoted as saying, “While I was still praying, a UFO . . . flew over to me very quickly”.

News flash: A local man who would only give his name as John spotted four Unidentified Flying Objects that he described as living creatures and said that, “Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings.”

How can you not believe in UFOs when they are mentioned in the Bible? They are not UFOs to us because we know they are angels. Angel(s) are mentioned nearly 300 times in the NIV Bible. I believe that some of today’s UFO sightings are in fact sightings of angels.

Have you noticed that most often an angel’s first words are “do not be afraid”? You can understand why they had to say “do not be afraid” when you look at how one angel was described in Revelations 10.

“Then I saw another mighty angel coming down from heaven. He was robed in a cloud, with a rainbow above his head; his face was like the sun, and his legs were like fiery pillars. He was holding a little scroll, which lay open in his hand. He planted his right foot on the sea and his left foot on the land, and he gave a loud shout like the roar of a lion. When he shouted, the voices of the seven thunders spoke.” That is scary.

Everything about an angel speaks to strength and power – power that is only surpassed by the power of God.

Whether they are sighted or not, angels are all around us today. And their power and the power of God are available to us today.

So here is my point. If you believe in these UFOs and if we have this unmatched power available to us, why aren’t we using that power?

How much time in each of your days is spent worrying rather than trusting the power of God?

When you made that hospital call, did you really feel deep inside that the power of God could heal?

When you stepped up to the pulpit did you really believe that the power of God would change lives with what you were preaching?

Please believe in UFOs and the power they represent.

Where is the Line for Jesus?

While at the mall a couple of years ago, a woman’s then four year old nephew, Spencer, saw kids lined up to see Santa Claus. Having been taught as a toddler that Christmas is the holiday that Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus, he asked his mom, “where’s the line to see Jesus?”

The mom and her sister mentioned this to their dad, who immediately became inspired and jotted words down to a song in just a few minutes. After putting music to the words, and doing a quick recording at home, he received a great response from friends.

It now has become a YouTube favorite. Take a few moments to listen to this song by clicking on the link below..

https://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=pPViKJRHyZo&vq=medium

Shop and Search to Benefit QuietWaters Ministries

When you shop at GoodShop.com they will donate up to 30 percent of each purchase to QuietWaters! Hundreds of great stores including Amazon, Target, Gap, Best Buy, eBay, Macy’s and Barnes & Noble have teamed up with GoodShop.

Just go to GoodShop.com, designate us as the cause you support, then click over to your favorite store and shop away! Remember that QuietWaters is one word.

Search the Internet using GoodSearch.com and they will donate half their advertising revenue, about a penny per search, to QuietWaters when you designate QuietWaters as your selected cause. Use it just as you would any search engine, get quality search results from Yahoo, and the donations to QuietWaters add up!

And if you download the GoodSearch – QuietWaters Ministries toolbar, our cause will earn money every time you shop and search online – even if you forget to go to GoodShop or GoodSearch first! Add the QuietWaters Ministries toolbar at https://www.goodsearch.com/toolbar/quietwaters-ministries

The QuietWaters Compass Online is published monthly as a free service of QuietWaters Ministries, whose mission is to renew, restore, and strengthen Christian leaders and their families. Opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of QuietWaters Ministries, its personnel or trustees. Material contained in this publication is not intended as a substitute for the professional assistance you can receive from a counselor, or health care provider. Requests for permission to reprint articles should be directed to the editor at the address below.

James L. Schlottman
QuietWaters Ministries

(303) 639-9066

[email protected]

© Copyright 2010 by
QuietWaters Ministries
Bethesda Foundation, Inc.
All rights reserved.

OPT-OUT

We hope you enjoy receiving this FREE newsletter from us, but if for any reason you’d rather not receive this email newsletter from us in the future, just e-mail us at [email protected] with your request to be removed from the newsletter mailing list.

PRIVACY

Protecting your privacy is very important to us at QuietWaters Ministries of the Bethesda Foundation, Inc. We will not rent, sell, or exchange your e-mail address with a third party for any purpose.

In This Issue

Do you believe in UFOs?

Shop and Search to Benefit QuietWaters Ministries

QUICK LINKS

QuietWaters Ministries

10th

ANNIVERSARY
YEAR

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

Psalm 23:1-3

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Elders Settle Differences with Pistols at 10 Paces

Written by Quiet Waters Ministries on November 18, 2010. Posted in Compass Online, Uncategorized

QW logo without white background

COMPASS ONLINE

A Digital Help Toward Renewal from QuietWaters Ministries

Volume 10, Number 11

November 2010

Greetings!

You may have noticed that I’ve changed the photo for this issue to a picture of our Retreat Center. This year a record number of pastors and missionaries have enjoyed the new Retreat Center.

With 8000 sq. ft. of living space on three acres, it provides a very pleasant place to say, but the only way you can stay at our Retreat Center is to participate in one of the Leadership Counseling Intensives.

So please contact me if you would like to schedule a stay.

Jim

Elders Settle Differences with Pistols at 10 Paces

by Jim Schlottman

When our Fall Compass magazine arrived in offices and homes, I received the following email from one of our readers. It is a talent to point out an error in such a loving way. I found it very humorous and it made my day.

“I had a good laugh this afternoon as I read the latest issue of the QuietWaters Compass. On page 4, in the article on Sacred Discontent, your subhead about two-thirds of the way down the third column says: Duel Nature of the Church. While it’s true that some churches face conflict between congregation and pastor, I haven’t heard anything lately about the preacher and an elder settling their differences with pistols at 10 paces or with drawn swords. But who knows, it could happen! Anyway, thanks for all you do.”

We all face conflict in different ways – some good and some not so good.

A while back Dave Ragsdale, QuietWaters’ Director of Counseling, used the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) to test the styles of conflict management of an elder board. The results of the test indicated that the conflict style of everyone on this elder board was avoidance. The result was that they didn’t want to address anything that might result in a conflict. No pistols at 10 paces or drawn swords, nothing got done.

Recently I had the opportunity to travel to Rigores, Honduras with Living Waters International to help dig a water well. While there I had the privilege of getting to know a pastor in the village where we dug the well. One day I was able to ask him about his ministry through a translator.

As part of the conversation he shared that once he had been hurt by one of the congregation members. He was told by the Lord to wait four days. After those four days, the person who had hurt him died.

I don’t know how to interpret his experience, but it was his way of dealing with conflict in the church.

He was very serious, but in the midst of that seriousness I had a humorous thought. If every pastor was able to deal with conflict in the church in that manner, QuietWaters would have a lot less to do.

In just this year alone, over 20% of those attending a QuietWaters Leadership Counseling Intensive were here to address a conflict.

We find conflict throughout the Bible. One example is Euodia and Syntyche. Remember Paul saying, “I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord.” Philippians 4:2 (NIV)

In a survey of pastors, Richard A. Blackmon found that 40% of pastors experience a “serious relational conflict at least once a month.”

How often do you experience a “serious relational conflict?”

Since conflicts take many forms, I don’t have an easy solution that I can state in this article. I only hope to normalize conflict so that you know you’re not alone. However, I will say that conflicts unaddressed lead to even greater harm.

Let me share with you what I call ‘Six Heart Disciplines for Handling Conflict’ that I found in reading Philippians 4.

1. Plead for reconciliation.
2. Maintain unity in the congregation.
3. Rejoice in the Lord always.
4. Be gentle.
5. Replace anxiety with prayers of thanksgiving.
6. Focus on the good.

Take some time right now to ask the Lord what you should do with your most recent conflict. Then take action to address that conflict without pistols at 10 paces or drawn swords.

The QuietWaters Compass Online is published monthly as a free service of QuietWaters Ministries, whose mission is to renew, restore, and strengthen Christian leaders and their families. Opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of QuietWaters Ministries, its personnel or trustees. Material contained in this publication is not intended as a substitute for the professional assistance you can receive from a counselor, or health care provider. Requests for permission to reprint articles should be directed to the editor at the address below.

James L. Schlottman
QuietWaters Ministries

(303) 639-9066

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In This Issue

Elders Settle Difference with Pistols at 10 Paces

QUICK LINKS

QuietWaters Ministries

10th

ANNIVERSARY
YEAR

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

Psalm 23:1-3

The Right Way To Ask

Written by Quiet Waters Ministries on September 25, 2010. Posted in Compass Online, Uncategorized

QuietWaters Compass Online

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COMPASS ONLINE

A Digital Help Toward Renewal from QuietWaters Ministries

Volume 10, Number 9

October 2010

Greetings!

How often do you preach about stewardship? Is it once a year or quarterly? Most pastors are hesitant to bring up the subject. The main reason is that the people in the pews don’t want to hear about giving and money.

I’m told that money is one of the most often written about topics in the Bible. Evidently, God knew that we would have a problem with money.

I’m also hesitant to talk about stewardship in my writings. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever spoken about stewardship in this newsletter.

So for maybe the first time I’m asking for help to ask the right way. I hope it helps you think about the subject in a little different way.

Jim

The Right Way To Ask

by Jim Schlottman

This week a letter will going out to several churches throughout the United States who know about QuietWaters Ministries. The letter asks the church leaders to consider an offering or designated gift to QuietWaters Ministries. I’m not certain how these letters will be received. Hopefully many will respond generously, others may struggle with how to respond, and still others may even be offended that we asked.

Robert Schuller tells the story of the first million-dollar contributor when they were building the Crystal Cathedral.